Tonight, I Grieve

Tonight I am grieving. 

Not for the loss of a friend or loved one.  No, tonight I grieve for an unfinished work; a work that has been on my desk for 3 years.  It has gone through many transitions and in it’s current state, it is somewhere between the saddest song ever written and a powerful anthem that could move thousands to a cause. Stylistically, it’s a cross between bad Coldplay and mediocre Foo Fighters. 

This week, as I took another stab at it, I thought I had gained new ground and new perspective.  But, after going home to rest and coming back to it, I saw that I had again reached a dead end.  Fail.

This is hard because I have put so much time and energy into this song and it’s a cause that I support so strongly. 

But, perhaps this song is not for me to write.  Another writer maybe?  Another band perhaps?

I have given so much to this song and I’m so frustrated.  There are other songs that need work.  Other songs that could move people, help people, soothe people, agitate people…..I must keep on keeping on. I’ve wasted too much time already. I can’t remain idle, paralyzed in my chair, stressed out because of failure.

So, tonight I say goodbye “Mumbai”.  You were the best song I never wrote.  Perhaps another lover will complete you. It was not to be…

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Sometimes songs get laid aside for a long time. John Mark McMillan has laid songs aside for years and then picked them up and finished them. I have set songs aside for a long time myself then picked them up again, some finished, some not yet.. Sometimes I think songs we write are maybe just for us. Keep writing. You are a wonderful writer/musician and I am blessed by your art. eric paul

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